34.4 Waving
[possible revision]Ramp weed and half-trampled grass winnows as cars pass. A hot breath turns everything still, forgotten; the car, the driver whose thoughts are already in Toledo kissing his lover’s...
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as a side note -- i revived this poem and heavily edited it after reading a poem by gerald stern. my daughter had to memorize and recite a poem for a class and she chose this stern poem which i was...
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H---the Stern poem you quote here is just great.your poem:Ramp weed and half-trampled grass winnows as cars pass. i like the observation there. i try in my own work to avoid any hint of the docent,...
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thanks B i already was questioning myself about the two parts you questioned. since the poem is pretty plain spoken, the higher poetic speak (or even dr. phil) stand out too much and yes, the Stern...
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Why are we so hard on ourselves? Your poem is not weak at all. It seems we all have this problem of comparison. It's why I drop out after 3 or 4 of these exercises because I see such wonderful poems...
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thanks for the good honest reactions here....i'm going back to post a possible revision.
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That must've been a moment, H. ah. . . and turned my head after them as an animal would, mm. Dr Phil. He was in my Sealed Universe piece. He's a good flagger of the not-poem, bless him ( in an...
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the Stern poem is so good and yet it seems to defy the poetic norm...or the workshop norm perhaps. the cynic in me wonders what would happen if this were posted by an unknown on some poetry board or...
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wow. Forever. A great moment then, a marker of some sort - of liberation for her too, perhaps. To speak it. The young growing older indescribable--the chasm widening, that you know will only narrow...
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I'm watching the unreal housewives of Miami play with shelter dogs as I write this. The tv, it goes without saying is muted. It is, in my world, always, or almost always muted A hearth, a...
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